I have been thinking about security a lot lately. I would like to say that I truly place my trust in God my Father and nothing else matters. I completely trust in God's will. He knows my heart better than I do and as long as I end up with Him in Heaven nothing else matters.
That is easy to say, but do I actually live that?
I recently heard Lino Rulli on Jen Fulwiler's radio show ask the question, "What is it in light of eternity?"
But I really started to ask myself that question. I really want a cute apartment.. but what is it in light of eternity? Well it actually doesn't matter. At all. And I really want cute new clothes... but what is it in light of eternity. Nothing. And the Pioneer Woman's new kitchen line??? Pointless.
What about bigger things? Money- savings for a down payment on a house or a van (that is definitely a life dream right there... I totally love mini vans) or savings for JohnMark's college?
Or even bigger things than that. Like health. And family. Things you take for granted until matters get shakey. Until my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years back I didn't even think about my parents' health.
After thinking about this I have realized my security is in a few things. My husband, son, my family, our apartment, my parents' home, food, the ability to be able to talk to my family who live far away, and the ability to travel home to Nebraska. I find comfort in all these things. There are a lot more (and a lot more silly things like the internet and my phone and clothes and money), but those are the biggest. I think I would be okay as long as I had those. I'm not asking for much God, just what I love the most.
What if all those things were gone?
That's what I've been thinking about. And that is what scares me the most. What if I lose those things? Would I still trust in God's will? Even if I lost everything that mattered most to me on this earth?
Then I ask myself that question, "What is it in light of eternity?"
Sure those things bring me temporal comfort, but does it effect my salvation? Too much of my comfort is based on things that won't last. Something I didn't even realize until I started thinking about what if I lost everything. I want my security to truly be in God my Father.
Nothing makes me want to cling to Jesus more than these thoughts. I am so thankful for the gift of my faith. I am thankful I will be able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist tonight. My salvation and the salvation of my loved ones is truly truly the most important. The things of this world are a huge distraction. I am thankful we are missionaries to help spread the most important thing in life. The thing that will effect our eternity.
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If any one loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides for ever." 1 John 2:15-17
Andddd that is the result of me drinking a cup of coffee, being home alone with a baby all day, and thinking about the world ending. That is way deeper than I ever intended this blog to get. My apologies.