Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Crying Over Cupcakes

I debated whether I was going to write about Lent on the blog.... and then I saw this video and Father Mike put me in place about realizing it can be humbling to share lenten plans (and how giving up sweets is really not something worthy to brag about).

I am really learning to appreciate the liturgical year the Church gives us, with times for feasting and fasting.  In attempt to reorient my life towards Christ and separate myself from things that rule me, here are my thoughts on two things I've been doing for the fasting portion of Lent.

Let me tell you, it is truly humbling to admit that sweets totally rule me. I have never given up sweets before because.... um.. that's crazy! How could anyone actually do that? Every year I would give up candy, but still eat cupcakes, cookies, brownies, ice cream, etc. When I would typically reach for candy, I would just switch it up and go for some other dessert instead. (As I type this out, I am realizing how ridiculous this seems, but it is the truth.)

On Ash Wednesday, I had decided this was about the worst sacrifice I ever decided to do and was very loudly moaning and groaning about it because it was already SO HARD. I seriously almost cried when someone ate a cupcake in front of me because I am not used to limiting treats. But as Lent continues (as do my cravings) it is refreshing to know sweets don't have power over me. It is freeing that I am able to say no a little easier than before. It sounds so silly, but sometimes I need to remember "I love God more than chocolate." I am so humbled by my weakness.



I also decided to give up scrolling on my phone....For a long time I have been trying to find a balance to social media and my phone. I live far from all my family, I love keeping in touch with people, I spend a lot of time at home alone, but I tend to get distracted from my husband and my precious baby.

For awhile I have been fasting from social media twice a week, which is nice and helps break my habit of *must see every instagram that has ever been posted* craze. But I was still finding myself mindlessly scrolling through my phone for a good 5 minutes at a time, only to get off to realize I couldn't even remember what I was just looking at. I can scroll forever. And ever. And ever.

Then I would get off my phone, and see my precious baby who is growing right before my eyes and is constantly discovering new things. I zone out for chunks of time to see what? Pictures of other people's food and dogs? UGH.

Drew and I talk a lot about how we want to raise JM. We want to teach him how to be present in conversations and how to talk to adults. But how can I ask that of him when I can't even do it???

Anyways, this is a long explanation of why I have decided to give up scrolling on my phone for Lent when I am with Drew or JohnMark. Or anyone else. (I have also decided it is okay for me to scroll when I am alone during naptime, because I am home alone quite a bit...)

So far, Drew has appreciated it so much. I will admit it is hard when Drew is watching a movie I really don't care about and would much rather be on my phone. But I love being more present to my precious baby who is growing so so quickly and I miss every night once he is in bed.


Thanks for (maybe?) reading my rant about my fasting for Lent. Any other ideas how to keep social media use from getting out of hand?? I would love to hear more ideas!

Emily


2 comments:

  1. I have that same bad habit about scrolling too...I've been trying to limit myself more and more but Lent has really kicked my butt in gear to realize how much I do it! I try to just do it at certain times of the day (beginning of naptimes is my go-to right now) and then stay off for the most part other times. It's hard though!!!

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  2. That's great! I think I will have to continue it after Lent. Beginning of naptime is just a magical time :)

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